


Dysania Clinomania

by wellthisisprettyrisque (collettephinz)



Category: AU - Fandom, I'm Not Okay High school, My Chemical Romance
Genre: I'm Not Okay music video, M/M, i watched the whole thing and took notes, it follows everything, it's them in that high school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:37:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3444041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/pseuds/wellthisisprettyrisque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Everyone’s high school experience is different.</p><p>Ray Toro got caught eating crayons and he played it off as a lame dare and no one questioned it while Ray carefully dropped all the crayon’s he’d had in his bag in the trash.</p><p>Frank Iero drank an unknown chemical in Chemistry class to get sent home because he’d forgotten to study for a math test happening the next period.</p><p>Gerard Way had tried out for the swim team in his full body school uniform to protest body standards and self esteem issue awareness.</p><p>Gerard’s brother, Mikey Way, got his nudes posted to the school bulletin boards by his volatile and cruel ex-boyfriend."</p><p>  <strong>In Russian: https://ficbook.net/readfic/3332265</strong><br/><strong>Translated by Daska_LP, "Dysania Clinomania"</strong></p>
            </blockquote>





	Dysania Clinomania

**Author's Note:**

> posting of nudes is an awful abuse of trust and may be horrifying to some of you, so read with your own discretion.
> 
> all the events are based after the music video for "I'm Not Okay," including some scenes of dialogue, edited to serve its intended purpose in this series.
> 
> nothing is mine.
> 
> dammit.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **In Russian: https://ficbook.net/readfic/3332265**  
>  **Translated by Daska_LP, "Dysania Clinomania"**

Everyone’s high school experience is different.

Ray Toro got caught eating crayons and he played it off as a lame dare and no one questioned it while Ray carefully dropped all the crayon’s he’d had in his bag in the trash.

Frank Iero drank an unknown chemical in Chemistry class to get sent home because he’d forgotten to study for a math test happening the next period.

Gerard Way had tried out for the swim team in his full body school uniform to protest body standards and self esteem issue awareness. 

Gerard’s brother, Mikey Way, got his nudes posted to the school bulletin boards by his volatile and cruel ex-boyfriend.

. . .

Honestly, Mikey Way never took any nude photos of himself to begin with. Mikey was a shy and private kid who had been over the moon about his crush actually accepting his request for a date. They’d gone together for two months before Mikey had gone to the bathroom and heard his boyfriend moaning, only to look under the stall barriers to see a pair of male dress shoes (his boyfriend’s) and a pair of female dress shoes with the high heel that was required with the school uniform, connected to a pair of knees.

Mikey listened to his boyfriend get sucked off by a girl when he’d only gone into the bathroom to take a piss. He didn’t even end up being the one to break up with his boyfriend; he’d wanted to talk and work this out. But then the other boy dumped him so hard Mikey’s head spun, and the next day, there were photos of Mikey’s nude body lying in the sheets on every cork board in every hall of the school.

Not only was this a horrendously atrocious act against Mikey Way’s privacy, it was also a trigger. Manic Depression was a whole new monster next to his brother’s Major Depression. They had matching Anxiety, and recommended prescriptions back and forth when the other pills failed. Mikey’s best friend, Frank, had been lucky to find Mikey in the bathroom next to the principle’s office before the razor had touched his wrist. Mikey was five months clean. Frank would rather die than see another mark on his childhood friend’s wrist.

Frank had gotten Mrs. Way to come and pick Mikey up from school, then he’d gotten his own mother to take him out of classes as well. Frank’s mom came at the same time as Mikey’s mom and Frank rode him with Mikey. Gerard Way was home with Ray Toro because their university was on break for a week. Ray Toro went to the Manhattan School of Music for the Bass and Viola. Gerard went to New York Academy of Visual Arts. Ray and Gerard and both been Juniors when Mikey and Frank were Freshman. Now Mikey and Frank are Seniors and neither could wait to get out, eyes on the future.

Until now, actually.

. . .

“Jesus, Mikey,” Gerard gasped, pulling his silently crying brother into his arms. Their mother just walked past them to go to the back room, probably to take a nap before she had to go to work again. “C’mon, we’re going to my room.”

Ray came over an hour later with one arm full of pizza and the other full of shitty horror movies they hadn’t seen yet from Ray’s father’s collection. He joined them in Gerard’s room, which was the basement under the house revamped to fit Gerard’s needs so all the toxic chemicals of his paints and markers would stay downstairs, for the most part.

Once Ray had shown up, Mikey had been more easily consoled. Something about Ray and the way he spoke and smiled was like a drug to Mikey. Gerard seized the moment and went upstairs to grab a smoke. Frank tagged along.

“Thank you,” Gerard said. “For what you did. For being there for him.”

Frank shrugged, trying to play off as nonchalant in front of Gerard, the cool older brother he might have a small crush on. “It’s what I’ve always done,” he said offhandedly, taking a drag. He remembered the first time he’d ever bummed a cigarette from Gerard. It had also been his first cigarette. He’d choked on the smoke after holding it in too long and burning his throat. “Mikey’s basically the brother I never had,” he said. “You know how it is.”

Gerard just hummed and let the smoke fall from his lips. Frank watched in fascination, wishing he could take the cig from Gerard’s fingers and bring it to his own lips. Gerard had to taste like nicotine. Frank wanted to know so badly if he did.

“I just can’t believe someone would do this to him, you know?” Gerard shook his head. “Mikey gave his fucking virginity to this asshole and he does something like this. I thought monsters like that only existed in comic books.”

“We should get him back,” Frank grumbled.

Gerard looked to him. “Got any ideas?”

Frank glanced back, realizing they were being serious. Then he nodded. “A few.”

. . .

“W-we can’t get revenge,” Mikey sniffled, wiping his eyes. “He’s the school mascot! He has the entire lacrosse team on his side. And those guys are fucking huge.”

“Why don’t you just turn him in to the principle?” Ray asked.

Mikey bit his lip before holding out his phone for Ray to see. Frank and Gerard crowded in behind him to see what it was that Mikey was showing.

“That fucking asshole!” Frank shouted. 

It was a message from Mikey’s ex-boyfriend saying he’d show more pictures to the school if he even thought of telling on him. Apparently worse pictures.

“I-I don’t even know when he took these,” Mikey whimpered, his hand shaking. “I never got naked w-without the lights off. I only slept over at his house once. I-I don’t know why he did this to me, or, or what I did to make him upset or wanna hurt me.”

“He’s a fucking prick!” Frank shouted, fuming. “That’s it!”

“We should call the police,” Ray was saying.

“No!” Mikey cut in, eyes going wide with panic. Whatever he was about to say next died in his throat with wheezing breath. His body shook and heaved with the effort to breath. Gerard shot up to his feet, grabbing his brother’s inhaler and shoving it into Mikey’s hand, who took the shot. “F-fuck, thanks,” he whimpered. “I-I… I don’t want the police involved.” He looked down at his hands. “P-people will hate me in school.”

“You’re graduating soon, it doesn’t matter!” Ray stressed.

“No, he’s right,” Frank sighed. “Kids are brutal there. It’s gotta be all the religion, maybe. All the liberal education and critical thinking. They’ve been cultured to think they’re better than everyone else so they’re gonna treat other people like they’re shit.”

“Wasn’t like that when we were there,” Ray sighed.

Gerard scoffed. “Dude, it was awful! I got carrots thrown at the back of my head for a month! My art projects got stolen or marked up with black marker! It was an awful place! They even cut all the strings on your guitar, remember?”

Ray made a face. “Oh yeah.”

“How do you forget something as awful as them cutting your strings?” Frank asked with an incredulous expression.

“Probably too traumatic,” Ray sighed. 

Frank grimaced in sympathy.

“We can’t let them hang this over your head, Mikey,” Gerard said softly. “We just can’t. It’ll eat you alive. I’ll bet you’d rather die than attend your classes now.”

Mikey just shrugged, curling into himself in the blankets on Gerard’s bed. He pulled the comforter over his head, looking like he wanted nothing more than to disappear. Gerard sighed and stood, sitting on the bed beside Mikey and patting the part of the blanket he had thought was Mikey’s head, but was actually his shoulder.

“You gotta go to school, Mikey,” he said softly, sounding like Mikey going to school was the last thing he wanted to happen.

“We’re only a week into the second semester,” he whimpered. “I-I can’t go. I wanna be home schooled. I can’t survive till graduation, I-I’ll be torn apart.”

Frank couldn’t deny that and sent the message to Gerard with his eyes, who understood. 

“We’ll figure something out, Mikey,” Gerard promised. “For now, just sleep, okay? Ray’s staying over. So is Frank. Just get some rest. You’ll feel better in the morning, okay? We’ll see if you wanna go to school or not.”

“I don’t,” Mikey said, but he didn’t say anything after that.

Ray caught Gerard’s eye, then slid onto the bed that was really just a mattress on the concrete floor and wrapped his arms around the bundle of blankets. Mikey slid out of his hiding place and crawled into Ray’s chest. Gerard tossed the blanket over both of them and went upstairs for more blankets. Awhile later, he came back down and tossed a pillow at Frank, and then he lied down on the other side of Mikey. 

Gerard sat at the head of the bed, back to the wall, drawing something with the light of his phone. Frank fell asleep before he saw Gerard put his things away and when Frank woke up the next morning, he wasn’t sure Gerard had slept at all.

. . .

Frank was grabbing a glazed donut from the box of a dozen that Mrs. Way had gotten them when he heard Gerard and Ray talking to each other from the steps.

“Dude, you can’t just keep talking about this like it’s a project,” Ray was saying, sounding a bit miffed. “It’s a big deal. It’s not something a step by step will solve. You gotta treat this like it is, an issue of interest and compatibility.”

“But it’s not that crazy,” Gerard sighed. “I mean, if I treated everything like that, I’d never be happy with what I have in life. I’d never have anyone. Compatibility is for roommates and online relationships.”

“And work relationships, and relationships in general and just surviving in a world filled with compatible and incompatible people.”

Gerard sighed harder. “Look, I’m just gonna do my best. Maybe I’ve got some hidden thing that’ll be interesting. Maybe I can, like, show off in a fight.”

Ray scoffed. “Gee, You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini, and croquet. You can’t swim, you can’t dance , and you don’t know Karate. Face it, you’re never gonna make it.”

“I don’t wanna make it,” Gerard said. “I just wanna… I-I wanna be something to him. Someone.”

Frank pulled away from the door before he heard anything else, red at the ears and upset. Gerard was obviously into someone that wasn’t Frank. Someone that probably just saw a weird guy with black, greasy hair and rumpled clothes and charcoal covered fingers. Someone who couldn’t see the amazing creativity and genius overflowing in Gerard’s mind, or the way Gerard showed his teeth when he smiled, or the way he brushed his hair behind his ear. Frank was fuming with the thought of Gerard pining for someone who didn’t deserve him. Fuck, no one deserved Gerard.

Fuck.

Frank stomped downstairs and flopped onto the bed Mikey was still lying in. It was eight-thirty in the morning so apparently neither of them were going to school, thank god. Mikey groaned and looked to Frank with bleary eyes and red marks around his eyes and the bridge of his nose because he’d forgotten to take off his glasses. “Wha’s wrong?” he slurred.

“Your brother likes a guy who doesn’t like him,” Frank bit out. Mikey sighed.

“You really need to just tell Gee you wanna jump his bones,” the younger Way said. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? He could get embarrassed and be weird and blushy and awkward around you. That’s it. You basically live here, and he actually does, so he can’t avoid you.”

“But I don’t want awkward,” Frank said. “I want him. I want Gerard to look at me and smile and say he wants me and I want him to just, like, not freak out about how I exist and get embarrassed about me being around him because I stupidly confessed my stupid feelings for him.

Mikey frowned. “Loving someone isn’t stupid,” he grumbled. 

Frank looked to him for a long moment, then nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“If you really think this guy isn’t worth Gerard’s time, then show him who is,” Mikey added. “Maybe he’ll fall in love too. I guess I’m trying to say that your best bet is to probably woo him.”

“What?” Frank asked.

“You know, woo him,” Mikey repeated. “Like the knights did. Gestures of love and appreciation and shit. You just make him fall in love with you with all these little things, like flowers and chocolates and maybe new figures or art supplies. Give him a cute drawing of your own and or, like, shout it from the rooftops. With a megaphone and stuff. Watch some old movies and I’m sure you’ll get some ideas.”

“Shouting sounds good,” Frank said. “I can shout. I’m really good at shouting.”

“Don’t just shout,” Mikey said with a roll of his eyes. “Be interested in the things he’s interested in.”

“You’re acting like I barely know him,” Frank said. “I’ve known Gee for years. I’ve known him for as long as I have known you. There’s nothing new to learn about him, nothing new to make him notice that we have shit in common. We like comic books and D&D and smoking and making awesome political statements in crude ways.”

“Then I don’t get what the problem is,” Mikey replied. “Spray paint your love for him on a wall or something. You know him pretty damn well. It shouldn’t be hard.”

“But it is,” Frank sighed. “He deserves a lot more than I can give him. You know that.”

“Give what you can,” Mikey said. “It’ll mean so much more than someone giving a lot when they have more to spare and don’t know the loss.”

Frank stared at the ceiling and nodded. “All I can,” he murmured. “I can give that.”

. . .

Mikey went to school the day after with his head hung low. The plan to get Mikey through the day was for Gerard and Ray to bring them lunch out in the courtyard. They were alumni so they were allowed back on campus with parental permission, which Gerard got. Frank stuck by Mikey’s side, left class early and got to class late so he would accompany Mikey everywhere in the halls. There were secretive looks and snickers and cruel eyes on Mikey everywhere he went. Frank almost punched one girl in the nose for making a comment about Mikey’s dick being less than average and how he’d never be any good for any girl. 

Mikey had gone to the bathroom to cry twice before the lunch bell rang. Frank was exhausted and Mikey was even worse off. When Gerard and Ray were waiting outside with sandwiches, Frank’s shoulders slumped in relief. Mikey went in for a long hug from his brother while Ray got the food ready. They sat on the enlarged steps that they had eaten on back when Gerard and Ray attended. They sat apart because it felt right.

A jock from the lacrosse team made to throw food at Mikey, but missed and hit Frank. Frank scowled but Gerard just shook his head at Frank to tell him to hold off. Frank was pissed, but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself in Gerard’s eyes.

Then they started jeering at Mikey and how he was “fucking disgusting with his skinny legs and tiny dick.” Frank was going to lose it.

“We need a plan,” Ray said after they’d eaten. “I’m fucking pissed. We’re getting back at these assholes and I’m not taking no for an answer, so it’s all or just me.”

“I’m with Ray,” Frank said. 

Gerard nodded. “Me too.”

Mikey was too shaken up to get much out. He just huddled close to Ray’s side.

“We’re gonna get them back,” Gerard said softly. “Frank’s got this.”

Frank leered because he really did.

. . .

Plan A was to plant drugs in the ex’s locker.

Frank got to know the best friend of the girl who’d helped the ex cheat. Her name was Leslie and she was a cheerleader, just like the cheater, Madison. She seemed to like Frank a lot, giggling at things he said even if they weren’t funny and blushed when Frank smiled, but he didn’t notice and it wouldn’t mean much to him anyways if he did.

After telling her what had happened, and effectively turning her against her friend and new boyfriend due to their cruelty, she agreed to help Frank plant the drugs. Ray got the prescription meds from someone he knew at the University, and no one was really surprised. A school of musicians meant there was a dealer in every class, hands down. Frank really wanted to attend a class with Ray one day just to see what it was like, just to see if it was something he wanted to do with his life.

Frank had the meds stashed in the hole he’d torn inside his bag that he used to hide his smokes. He was confident and cocky enough to not get caught. He’d brought drugs on campus before, just not something this hot. They were super strong anti-psychotics that Frank couldn’t even pronounce the name of.

“Just get the code and slip it into the locker,” Ray said. “It’s easy, right? If you’ve got the girl to help you, there’s no way you can get caught.”

Now Frank was sitting in the girl’s locker room with Leslie, waiting for the class bell to ring to announce the commencement of the lunch period, the best time to plant the drugs. She was in her full cheerleader uniform, decked out because there was a game this night. Cheerleaders were asked to be in uniform all day while the players were asked to be dressed formally as opposed to the regular dress code. 

Frank looked to her. “You know?” he said. “You have something in your eye.”

Leslie came closer and Frank appreciated the aid. He reached in and grabbed the eyelash before it could fall into her eye. Then he flicked it to the floor before wiping his finger on the shoulder of her uniform. He was so polite. His mother raised him so well. Frank was inwardly very proud of himself. Then the bell rang and he was on his feet, expecting the girl to follow.

“I’ve known you for a while,” Leslie was saying.

“Yeah?” Frank asked, still looking to his goal. “That’s cool. Why haven’t you talked to me? We could be awesome friends.”

The girl was silent at the drop of the title and Frank didn’t notice.

“Locker three thirty-four, right?” Frank asked, standing in front of what he hoped was the right locker. He pulled the pill containers out from his secret pocket and looked to Leslie when she didn’t answer him. “Is this it?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, moving forward and taking the combination locker into her dainty hands, filling in the three digits. “Done.”

Frank grinned and moved in front of her once she moved back, pushing the pilled to the back of the top shelf of the locker. He was giggling like a maniac, enjoying the adrenaline rush that came with framing this asshole. 

“You won’t tell anyone, right?” he asked, closing the locker when he was done. Leslie just nodded. “Fuck yeah, thanks,” Frank said with a manic grin, leaning in to kiss her cheek on instinct, then running off to go find Mikey and Gee and Ray and let them know that the deed was done and they could report the ex within the school day.

. . .

Things didn’t go as planned.

Apparently, one of the Lacrosse players had been on their way to lunch detention and had seen what Frank was doing. The drugs were taken out and tossed by the ex and Frank was shoved in a locker until the last school hour of the day before he even reached the others.

So, plan A was a bust and Frank scared the shit out of some poor girl when she opened her locker at the end of the day.

. . .

“I-I can’t do that,” Mikey whimpered, looking way more scared of the idea than he rationally should be. “Steal the mascot suit? H-how the hell would I get in the supply closet, let alone carry that huge thing out!”

“Not the whole thing,” Frank sighed. “Just the head. You’re making this out to be a lot harder than it really is.”

“No, I’m being realistic,” Mikey replied. “I’m fucking tiny, Frank! My arms are smaller than your ankles! I can’t carry a huge mascot head out, I’m just physically incapable of it.”

“You gotta try, Mikey,” Frank stressed. “I mean, really, if we let this guy go around blackmailing you without any repercussions, he’s just gonna do it again. To other people. He’s gonna learn that the can do this sort of thing and get away with it and then he’ll keep doing it to other people because he never learned otherwise.”

“He’s right,” Gerard sighed. Frank inwardly cheered.

“Of course I am,” Frank huffed. “You gotta do this, Mikey. For yourself and for anyone in the future that he could hurt.”

Gerard goes upstairs a little while later to take call and that’s when Frank makes his move.

“So, is Gee interested in anyone?” he asked as nonchalantly as he could.

“Oh god,” Mikey groaned. “Not this. Anything but this.”

Frank frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

The other boy just sighed and shook his head. “Gee’s interested in someone, yes,” he answered. “A very special someone. He’s kinda an asshole and he’s not that bright when it comes to school. But Gee likes his face and his voice and his inner self or whatever that means and he’s been asking around for advice on how to get this person.”

Frank scowled. “I don’t like this guy.”

“I don’t either, sometimes,” Mikey drawled. “Didn’t you try and follow my earlier advice? Give him what you can?”

“I don’t have anything he could want,” Frank said forlornly. “It’s not fair. He’s pining after some asshole who sounds like an idiot and I can't do jack shit about it.”

“I’m so done with you both,” Mikey grumbled.

Frank scowled deeper and threw a pillow at him. “Dick.”

. . .

Gerard cleared his throat for Frank’s attention later that night, around two in the morning. Frank knew he had school tomorrow, but he couldn’t sleep. Gerard and Ray didn’t leave until after the weekend. Frank didn’t want to see him go. He knew he would miss Gerard like he’d miss his eyes, if that even made sense. So when Gerard slinked up behind Frank at two in the morning, Frank turned around eagerly, ready to hang off of every word Gerard said.

“You’ve, uh, really been helping my brother a lot,” Gerard said, sounding like he felt awkward. “Just, I wanna say thanks. He’s a fragile kid, you know? He has that poker face down to an art, but it’s still just a mask. So I wanna thank you for being there for him and backing it up with actions, not words.”

Frank grinned and shrugged, proud to have made Gerard feel proud of him. “Just doing what I can,” he replied. “Mikey’s my best friend. I’m not gonna let some asshole do this to him. Not while I have any say about it.”

“It just means a lot to me,” Gerard continued. “Like, to know that, even while I’m gone, he has someone to watch out for him. I’m glad it’s you.”

“You know how it is for friends,” Frank said a bit softer. “You’d give up everything and anything for them. Give them all you can.” His tone trailed off into something a bit more meaningful and Frank was staring into Gerard’s amazing eyes. Gerard blushed and ducked his head, black hair falling over his eyes, and Frank didn’t understand what that meant.

“I need a smoke,” Gerard choked out. “Uh, wanna come with?”

Frank grinned again and nodded, always eager to light one up, especially when it meant he could stay with Gerard and talk about nothing or look up at the sky.

The air was frigid and Frank could see his breath without the added smoke, set rising into the night like a wisp of cloud. He grinned and looked to Gerard.

Gerard was staring at a single cigarette with a red face.

“What’s wrong?”

“This is the only one,” Gerard croaked. 

Frank shrugged, way more excited than he should be, and lucky that he didn’t show it. “We can share,” he said. “If you want. I don’t mind, but you can have it if it bothers you.”

“No, uh, it’s fine,” Gerard said too quickly. “I don’t mind, yeah, we can share. I don’t mind.”

Frank smiled so wide it hurt his cheeks. “Light it up.”

Gerard nodded, taking out his zippo and snapping the flame to life, lighting the cigarette and taking a long drag. Frank noticed that his hand was shaking. He didn’t think it was that cold outside, but Gerard had always been an outlier. Frank fucking loved outliers.

Gerard took another breath before holding the cigarette out to Frank, not meeting his eyes. Frank eagerly took the deathstick and brought it to his own lips, lingering a bit longer before taking a break and imagining he could taste Gerard. The very thought that he was touching what Gerard’s lips had touched with his own lips mere seconds after made his heart flutter and his stomach do weird things. He was being such a fucking creep.

Frank handed back the cigarette, letting the smoke float gently from his lips instead of blowing it from of his lungs. He saw Gerard stare at the smoke coming from Frank’s mouth and grinned. “Know any tricks?” he asked, thinking Gerard just hadn’t thought to do that before.

Gerard’s head snapped away from Frank and shrugged. “Can do a ring,” he said. “Nothing to write home about.”

“I remember the first time I ever saw something glorify smoking,” Frank said, thinking Gerard would want to talk about something a bit more meaningful since he seemed disinterested in the topic of smoke tricks. “It was the X-Files. You showed it to me, remember? That one Fourth of July. And it had that villain—”

“Cancer-man,” Gerard interrupted softly, nodding his head. “Yeah, I remember. He was a pretty rad bad guy. Really good name for him too. I’m pretty sure the fans called him Cancer-man and then the show just used it because it was stronger than anything name or federal title they could assign to the guy.”

“I wanted to be like him when I grew up,” Frank said. “That was before I understood that he was truly bad, you know? I wanted to be the Cancer-man.”

“We should stop smoking,” Gerard said rather abruptly while he passed the cigarette to Frank again. “Wouldn’t want to make our lives any shorter than they could already be.”

The irony wasn’t lost on Frank and he snickered, shaking his head, taking a drag and imaging Gerard’s taste again. “I’m gonna live the time I have however I want,” he hummed. “If that means that I have to cough up a lung, so be it. This helps me more than I think any anti-anxiety could.”

Gerard shrugged. “You’re probably right.”

“Of course I am,” Frank said. “I’m Frank fucking Iero. And I am the absolute best at being the absolute worst.”

“You’re not the worst, Frankie,” Gerard said softly, almost meekly. “You’re kinda just the best. I mean, I’ve met a lot of people and no one’s really been as good of a person as you are. Sure, you’ve got a temper, but it’s not irrational. You get angry for a reason and it’s usually a good reason. Don’t beat yourself up for being who you are.”

Frank grinned at Gerard, a bit awestruck. “You’re amazing, Gee,” he said. Gerard blushed again and looked away. Frank grinned and took in another drag, looking up at the sky. He decided that Gerard was a lot more interesting than the stars.

. . .

Frank was waiting in the boy’s bathroom for Mikey to come back with the mascot head.

Mikey came back, white faced and empty handed.

“What the hell happened?” Frank hissed, pissed that Mikey hadn’t followed through. “I told you, you gotta do this! We need the head or this isn’t gonna work!”

“I-I couldn’t get it,” he choked out.

“What do you mean you couldn’t get it?” Frank demanded. “Jesus, Mikey, this is so fucking easy! It’s just on the top shelf!”

“The school nurse was blowing the chemistry teacher,” Mikey whimpered.

Frank’s anger died. 

“… No way.”

Mikey nodded, eyes wide with horror.

Frank ran a hand over his face. “I am so sorry, Mikey.”

“I can’t un-see that,” Mikey whimpered. “I just saw that and I can’t un-see that.”

“Right,” Frank said rather gruffly. “We’re taking you home. Plan B is being abandoned due to horrific and traumatic images that were never meant to be seen. Grab your bag, Mikey. We’re ditching.”

Mikey didn’t argue.

. . .

“And she was just on her fucking knees and Mr. Barker didn’t even seem like he wasn’t having any fun a-and I’m kinda freaking out,” Mikey was babbling to them. They all sat on Gerard’s mattress, just listening to what Mikey had seen and letting him get it out all.

“It was so weird,” he stressed. “I mean, my L.A. teacher, Mrs. Jasmine, she’s pregnant and she’s gonna have a kid, so, like, of course she’s had sex. B-but I actually fucking saw this and it kinda just hit this reset button in my head and everything is just surfacing and I’m so fucking panicked I feel like I could throw up or die.”

“And, and what the fuck?!” Mikey suddenly cried out. His eyes were brimming with tears from anxiety. “What the fuck! My fucking boyfriend took fucking pictures of me naked and put them up all over the school! Who does that?! What kind of sick, fucking fucked up kind of asshole does that someone, to anyone?! What the fuck is wrong with him?!”

“And what the hell is fucking wrong with this school?!” Mikey snapped, finally getting angry, thought pain was lingering in his voice. “Those fucking assholes have been laughing at me left and right! Didn’t they see I was fucking asleep?! Don’t they understand just how fucking wrong what he did is?! What the fuck is wrong with everyone in that fucking school?! I want them all to fucking burn!”

Ray suddenly lurched forward and took Mikey’s face in his hands, kissing Mikey like he could die if he didn't.

Gerard looked just as surprised as Frank was. Both of them looked over Ray’s torso with completely bewildered expressions, blindsided by this turn of events. But Mikey didn’t look upset and was kissing Ray back, holding his face as well. A moan came from Mikey and Frank flushed bright red, jolting and jumping off the bed with Gerard, both of them stumbling upstairs as fast as they could. 

“What the fuck was that?” Gerard gasped, sitting on the kitchen floor.

Frank just shook his head. “I-I have no idea where that came from.”

“Did you see them?” Gerard asked, eyes going distant. “They were sucking face! Oh my god. Ray wants to bone my baby brother.” He looked sick at the thought. “He wants to bone my baby brother, jesus christ.”

“Did Ray ever mention anything about Mikey to you?” Frank asked.

Gerard shook his head. “Mikey ever mention Ray?”

Frank shook his head.

“Jesus,” Gerard sighed, running a hand over his face. “Jesus.”

Frank started giggling. 

“What’s so funny?” Gerard asked, not looking all that upset anymore.

Frank shook his head, knowing if he told Gerard why he was laughing, he’d give himself away. “They’re gonna be happy,” was all he said as his own heart began to fall.

Gerard stared at Frank with a critical eye before nodding. He stood and ran a hand through his hair, heaving a heavy sigh that seemed more resigned that angry or annoyed. “I’m gonna go watch a Romero film,” he said. “Wanna join me?”

Frank could only nod, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get anything past the lump in his throat.

Frank wished he could be as happy as Mikey was.

. . .

“I feel like I could fly,” Mikey gushed on their way to school the next day. It’s Thursday and Gerard and Ray had to leave in five days. Last night, Mikey and Ray had made out until three in the morning. Mikey was walking on sunshine and Frank felt like he’d rather drown than hurt anymore from knowing he’d never have Gerard.

It was like he and Mikey had just switched personalities. 

Mikey’s head was held high, a smile stretching his face. He seemed confident and untouchable, like he was on top of the world with everything he could want. Frank’s head was hung lower and he looked like he was trying to make himself smaller than he already was. Mikey looked happy to be alive. Frank looked ready to fall apart.

That’s the crazy thing about love. It can either make you or break you.

. . .

“Why don’t you just record it?” Frank asked while he and Mikey sat alone for lunch. There was no Plan C, no reason for Ray and Gee to come on campus. Frank felt lonely without the older Way. “I mean, tape a confession of what he did, then play it on the intercom or something.”

“How the hell would I even manage to get to the intercom?” Mikey sighed, nibbling on his sandwich. His phone went off for the millionth time and Mikey’s eyes lit up every time. Ray was an attentive boyfriend. Mikey deserved him. 

“You could blackmail the school nurse,” Frank suggested with a shrug.

“No,” Mikey said, shooting down the idea without hesitation. "I’m not going to sink so low to get back at him".

Frank sighed, already picturing it in his mind. The cassette playing, telling everything that happened and who was to blame. Gerard and Ray would be sitting with them, maybe in the library? And the cassette would play and people would storm Mikey’s ex and then cheer on Mikey and Frank for their bravery. 

Then Gerard would approach Frank with dark eyes, a coy smile on his lips. Frank would return the smile, having recently grown a few inches. He and Gerard would meet, first their hands, then their bodies, then their lips. They’d kiss and there were fireworks behind Frank’s eyes. Gerard would tell Frank he loved him with an intimate murmur against his lips and Frank would return the love. Then they’d leave the school and there’d be doves, or maybe zombies? Zombies, yeah, they’d leave the school and fight off the horde, save Mikey and Ray and get in a school bus and take on the apocalypse.

“Are you crying?” Mikey asked, sounding very worried.

Frank came back to himself and immediately shook his head, wiping his eyes and sneering when his fingers came back wet. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he snapped, standing. “It just doesn’t matter, okay?”

“Fuck,” Mikey murmured. “You’ve got it bad for Gee, don’t you?”

Frank grit his teeth and left the courtyard. Mikey wouldn’t feel lonely; he had Ray to talk to. Frank just wanted to be alone right now.

. . .

“Ray and I are gonna come to your guys’ lunch again tomorrow,” Gerard told Frank as Frank was walking Mikey to the Way household with every intention of then going home by himself. “We’ve got one more day to do this and we really wanna help, so we’re gonna come and do a last ditch effort.”

Frank nodded, avoiding Gerard’s eyes. “See you then.”

Gerard frowned. “You’re not coming inside?”

Frank shook his head and left.

If he’d turned around, he would’ve seen the crestfallen expression that pulled at Gerard’s face, his charcoal fingers lying limp at his sides as he watched Frank walk away. He would’ve seen Gerard bite his lip and turned back to the house, hands curling into trembling fists. If he’d stayed, Gerard wouldn’t have had to lock himself downstairs and scribble furiously, words of anger towards himself for doing whatever he’d done to make Frank not want him.

There’s a lot of “if’s” out there and none of them are very comforting.

If Frank had just turned around and seen how upset Gerard was from Frank not staying, maybe Frank wouldn’t have punched that hole in his wall and cried himself to sleep.

. . .

Gerard and Ray had shown up with the intentions to play croquette because they could. Gerard chose this game because he was awkward and didn’t know how else to talk to Frank aside from Frank making fun of Gerard’s dismal playing skills.

Frank was just annoyed the whole time. His eyes were hidden behind aviators and he kept looking away whenever Gerard did something and he was actually pissed at how badly Gerard was playing the game. This was the first time Frank had ever shown any outward annoyance or even anger towards Gerard and it took everything Gerard had not to get on his knees in front of Frank and just beg him to tell him what he’d done wrong.

Then the ex came and literally tackled Gerard to the ground. 

Frank lost his shit. 

There was a fight, undeniably, there would always be a fight. The ex had had no reason to attack Gerard Way of all people. The fact that he had the nerve to hurt someone as nonthreatening and timid as Gerard Way meant that Frank would show them no mercy, let alone what he’d already done to Mikey, now this asshole was going to rue the day he messed with either of the Ways. 

Ever been hit in the head with a croquette mallet?

The ex had run, sprinted to the field, gotten in his costume to hide the blood and maybe get himself out of trouble. The ex thought the bloodthirsty Frank Iero wouldn’t do anything if he was on the field, in front of coaches and students. 

He was fucking wrong and Frank tackled him to the ground. Then Ray, then Gerard. Mikey kicked him in the head once the ex couldn’t get up.

Bloody and bruised, Frank, Ray, Gerard and Mikey got their mallets and stood face to face with the head lacrosse members. A moment of silence, like a fucking western, and then the boys all launched themselves at each other. 

Gerard got a black eye and a bloodied nose, Ray’s lip got busted and his knuckles bruised. Mikey had a gash in his head and Frank was sneering, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, eyes blazing with anger. He took out the Lacrosse head and everything fell apart from there. 

Frank had been pulled from the fist fight with the final conscious jock Frank had left to clock out by Ray, laughing and shaking from the adrenaline. Gerard was holding onto Mikey, who was smiling lazily, swaying on his feet and a tent in his jeans. Gerard was staring at Frank like he was seeing the moon for the first time, magical and beautiful and out of his reach.

. . .

“Ray’s patching up Mikey in the bathroom,” Gerard told Frank when he came back in with an icepack made from a washcloth, plastic bag, and large chunks of ice he’d broken off from the freezer. “They’re probably gonna end up fucking on the counter, so you can use my mom’s bathroom. She isn’t home.”

 “I’m in love with you,” Frank said bluntly.

After the fight, everything seemed a lot more temporary. Everything seemed shaky and unstable and Frank had had this epiphany in the middle of it that he was fucking mortal. He was going to die one day and it could be much sooner than he thought. So he owed it to himself to get his feelings out on the table and make everything a bit less strained and fake.

Gerard stopped in his tracks wearing an unreadable expression. “… Really?”

Frank nodded, fiddling with a broken pencil he’d found in his back pocket. “Really.”

Gerard slid onto his mattress beside Frank, looking like he was thinking. Then, he leaned back and grabbed his sketchbook, the edges stained with black charcoal. He handed it to Frank.

Frank opened it and was surprised when he saw a collection of drawings of Frank. He looked through the book with careful fingers, cautious and promising himself he wouldn’t smear a line. The drawings captured the sort of anger Frank always felt accompanied with this softness that Frank didn’t see when he looked in a mirror, but Gerard obviously saw in him. The talent was palpable and Frank was honored to be a subject of inspiration for Gerard’s art.

“So it’s mutual?” Frank asked.

Gerard nodded. “It’s mutual.”

Frank grinned and set the book aside carefully before moving closer to Gerard on his knees, tilting his head and touching his lips to Gerard’s. Gerard’s breath caught audibly and Frank’s heart raced. This was better than the zombie dream.

Gerard pulled back just a bit after a long moment of lips locking and smiled prettily with a blush. “So, uh, I have to go back up Sunday,” he said. “Till then… Do you wanna stay with me? Maybe go on a date or something?”

Frank grinned and nodded, kissing Gerard again and tasting him. 

Nicotine, caffeine, mint.

Bad habits and new addiction.

That’s what Gerard tasted like.

**Author's Note:**

> "Dysania Clinomania" is defined as a literal addiction to lying in bed and never getting out. to learn more, visit google. google is awesome.


End file.
